Another edition for those who enjoy this kind of stuff, to those who don't, stop reading now

Thursday Day 1 - September 4th – The Amazing Race

I plan to deek from work at 1300 to have tons of time to prep, but get a phone call at 1030 to find out the basement rock breakers are arriving today….nice timing, so much for lots of time to pack up. They require babysitting from 1300 til 1530, grrr. I finally make it by 1600 and decide to check the ferry by phone. She informs me that if I got down there right now I might just make it on stand-by for the 1930…..Say WHAT?? I call Eastside and he’s in Duncan. Crap. I finish the pack, sign the work order for the rock blasters, round of hugs and kisses and dodge the compressor in the driveway to bolt downtown. I make it and am informed, yeah, I am on but now the standby line starts. Whew! Eastside, where r u? I get updates every 5 minutes on progress and pilot Eastman while I count the cars arriving on standby. Glad to see anyone with a reservation cuz they don’t count toward the standby total…apparently about 8-15 vehicles make it on usually when on standby. I shoot a few hoops on the local board there while I pace around wondering if we have to unload Eastside’s shit into the rig and leave his vehicle behind. Seems a pretty distinct possibility considering he’s still 35 minutes away and only 8 vehicles to go…..That would reduce options for my possible longer stay but not the end of the world considering how beaten up I am anyway. My wrist whines as I sink another 3 pointer at the Coho hoop and the ball bounces into the traffic. I limp after it with my hip clicking in the rhythm of my gait. Couldn’t believe only 3 cars arrived by the time Ralph with his loaded Toyo roll in an hour later!! We are in biz! We both get our passports scanned, not sure why but at least no rubber glove treatment, thankful for not-so-small favours. Skipping across the street to take in the first NFL game of the season, NYG are ahead but the Redskins are making a game of it (turns out that was all the scoring)….Beacon IPA and seafood pasta….back to the rigs to load as we have to be there a ‘full hour early’ and of course true to form the custom geeks don’t show til ten minutes before departure, we don’t load or depart until 8, grr, throwing my timetable off. Wicked sunset views from the ferry but we take no pictures, spoiled Island folk that we are. It’s feeling like fall for sure, a cold, damp and stiff JDF breeze forces us inside to dwell with the other victims of smelly ferry boats…..although we approve of the paint job, always sparkling on the Coho!
Fuel up in PA 2210, 40 min behind schedule, 104,906Km on the ODO, the windy 101 road is being tested with the windkusshine pushing the speed and caution limits, hit I5 at Tumwater at 0040 and I remind myself to stay in the center lane- the truck lanes have morons merging, have road damage or tend to end for no apparent reason or force you to exit when buddy shoving yet another cheeseburger into this chipmunk cheeks won’t let you in. We don’t stop til Woodland where I seek my favourite parking lot spot near the back by the Macdonald’s. I have major backfires when I stop the truck, the carb is acting up or the timing is way out. Two in the morning, three gunshots fired in the neighbourhood, jeeez, we wait for the troopers …that never do come. Flat parking, quiet and fast internet available, a couple of Hood River Full Sails and we drift off to sleep. Ralph confirms the bunk is pretty damn comfy.

Friday Day 2- Gentle Introductions

Ralph decides a grease breakfast of champions from McD’s is the way to go, I insist on own-brewed java…..deal. The idle is doing funny things on the kusschine but the mechanic who doesn’t have time for me “to fix it right now for next to nothing” says to forget it and to buy some carb medic lateron. Good enough advice for me. I pick up propane so the fridge doesn’t flame out and we rip along at a steady 63-73mph depending on posted limit…..don’t really wanna cheque booked again. The forecast is upgraded to 30 knots for Flo, sunny with no clouds, 68 degrees. No traffic to speak of for the remaining 20 miles to Portland, ODO 105278 at the Portland turn-off, 0925, I5 junction at 0945, ODO 105316km. The wholesale outlets mall at exit 271 has a Puma store, note to self (and of course my offspring).
The drive in was pretty eventless. Couldn’t find internet at the turn off for Newport so we decide to go for the sure Flo thing. Short road closure at Triangle Creek near the pass of highway 126 has me blowing a gasket but we finally get moving again, the thoughts of the wicked headwinds keeping me smiling. The pavement on this section is good to bad (especially with all the whoopdeydoos outside Flo at Mapleton- nice looking place- that gets my rig airborne and the crackpatch pavement from Beltline to Veneta), repeat, and the pass is not steep, the rig handles it no probs. The new pavement near the summit is a treat.

We get there at 1305, briefly shop Florence Safeway, hit the Jetty and the classic fogbank is already starting there as are a capping river and drifting sand. Cliff, modestly self proclaimed ‘very expert windsurfer’ camper dood staying at Honeyman Park (he’s pretty good actually but that’s maybe the only thing he’s mastered...nice enough guy I suppose, maybe self confidence is not the same as conceit), says it was 3.7 yesterday and he got blown off the water early so that is what he will rig today…..he’s been around a few days, some 5.8 winds but I believe him….sort of…and rig my 4.2 to go with the 90. Eastside chooses to go with the 3.7 after watching me rip around right from the get-go. Turns out to be a great call. Much fun, many channels out there today, easy sailing with waist to shoulder high waves in and 8-10 footers outside. Periods a little short but hey, this is soooo awesome. Sunny and warm, we take some pix and marvel at our luck. Then the fog moves in closer, it gets dark and I know what’s next…..we get blown off the water within an hour of each other but not before we have more fun than humans should be allowed to have. Barely manage to retrieve our stuff from the beach. I make the mistake de-rigging at the beach and Eastside seeks shelter by the jetty but it’s pretty much like struggling through a desert sand storm (that it is I suppose) with very awkwardly stashed gear getting ripped from your grasp….my arms almost fall off when I finally make it. Everything with a layer of ¼ inch sand stuck to it…..I rinse what I can by climbing down to the river, get knocked over by a rogue swell, take a seat and almost drift bouncing down the rip rap. Note to self: don’t turn your back on the river! The winds are still picking up at this point, we can barely walk around and estimate close to high 40’s, more in gusts.
We limit the sand in the rig pretty well although the clean up was a drag but the hot shower is awesome. What luxury and soothing the now cramping body, a few more drugs added to the mix and I am almost pain free, haha. We last only a couple of beer and totally pass out while the wind absolutely rages outside.

Saturday Day 3- September 6th: Shop and Chop, Rave ’n Wave

Made a wicked Kus B-fast at the Jetty. Things are a lot calmer but it’s still blowing 15. The windshield is crusted over. We chow, re-arrange the Yota and off to find Epoxy and related toy supplies as the 90 feels pretty much like a soft taco. There is a plastics shop one block off the main drag on 13th. Closed. The True Value at the corner of Highway 126 and 101 intersection was pretty good value, big store, tons of friendly staff , epoxy in the paints section, cloth in the marine section, foam, sandpaper, I pass on the bathtub matt for the deck pad but…..we’re in biz. I perforate the 90’s deck only to realize it’s friggen 1330 & it’s already blowing 26 at the Jetty. A quick roto rooter with a coat hanger to free the crappy foam but we must go. We arrive to full on 4.2 & Evo, 3.7 again for Eastman. Waves much bigger today, super short period, 5-7 secs? I ride some of the biggest waves in my short wavesailing life. Almost smoked a pelican in mid flight, lotsa them around feeding. Masthigh+ outside, I catch only about 4 huge ones, the rest of the big ones I let go, they scare me as I picture myself burying a rail and getting mercilessly rolled and spit out…..or under as it were… Overhead inside and I only go down once when I think I sail better than I actually can and smack a frothy lip burying that very rail. One rinsing and riding the mast tip into the beach in one set, mild washing machine on the first go around. Other than that, pretty controlled considering. We pack up using a riverwater filled bin to rinse everything, much better…..and safer. Extensions, masts, booms are cleaned of the ever present silica crystals.
Off to the carwash at the Marina to blast the rigs clean, the hot showers are still free AND clean, as is the next door laundry room, amazing. We do the chicken, cauli, spuds and salad thing in the Old Town Coffee parking lot. Nice. I do web updates, check emails, post pix. Then wander the streets…..lots of silverhead presence still but you can tell tourist season is ending. The pubs do contain the odd gem in (surrounded by blockes with bad teeth) the rough, ha!. Wonder why that is, r there no normal guys with all their teeth and no drooping pot around? Eastside guesses 5 cartons of cigarettes and a kilo of meth were consumed during our one hour stay at Jacks. The clientele was pretty much unchanged from 2006 but good ol’ Erika has moved 3hrs away after she got fired at the Beachcomber….too much weed on the job maybe? There were quite a few jetty girls on hand, each equipped with low cut asscrack jeans, a smoke, some “I got it from my cousin” features, all pretty exciting. The highlight was a jetty chick’s mom dressed in an old fashioned long flowery dress dancing like a hooker, being cheered on by the offspring whose boobs are ready to leap from a super low cut black evening gown, but with a huge laugh and smiling all the time, lifting her dress to show her black spandex full length girdle undergarments. Very much fun, people watching down here rocks! Where is the cam when you need one?? The other highlight is a dog abuse police show (complete with graphic footage of abused and injured or at times rigor dogs) as Eastside is fascinated by what all the US public is willing to watch. We walk to the Station after, nice river front establishment with a great menu. We feed the local fleabag who gets to clean floors in there and reflect on our wind luck. Too many IPA’s today, we hobble back and pass out.

Sunday Day 4- Inversion Tainted

I have a bit of a Jack’s smoke/IPA hangover. I promise Eastside we will get to the jetty early. However, first I reamed out the 90 damaged foam with a coat hanger while parked at the shell on 10th and Oak. Then their vacuum, which will suck the chrome off a doorknob and takes Canadian quarters, did the rest. Re-foamed on the sidewalk in the sun while blasting Reggae out the kusschine door, merrily letting the foam vent out of the holes. I overhear the locals in the gas station with their usual jargon and talking to tourists needing fuel with loud croaky voices spewing lines like “my feet are killing me, these insoles are really bad, wow…..ever had bunions like these? Lookee here….you have a nice day now, hear?” It is really unfortunate that it is illegal for customers to self serve in Oregon.
Success, the board doesn’t explode, while Eastman reappears to re-stock the dinner box. Good to go Jetty bound only to find warmth, not mucho wind, a paddle surfer on the river and tons of yet again incredibly obsese dog walkers (or cane equipped limpers, kinda like me) merrily letting their pets piss on our belongings…..another US sharing custom I guess. 105619km on the ODO now.
Ralph tries himself in little wind and a 5.3, 120L and drifts toward Japan. I am happily writing this, watching great long period swell arrive in the river and am guessing it will hit shortly. It’s almost 2! Another hour maybe? Nope, heavy gusts hit like clockwork at 1415, I get dressed to join Japan guy. Turns out things were pretty gusty and the Jesus board was slow to get going, so I got frustrated trying to plane & losing waves and ended up in the King’s seat swillin’ Inversions while watching the goings on. A sea otter was checking things out pretty closely all day. The wind kicked up to wicked 4.7 but we were already packed up and chalked this up to lack of experience: gotta wait for the goodies that come late at Flo. A guy actually launched yesterday at 2000. Beauty sunny day ended with us rinsing at Moahinc (?) Park and dropping honey across the way at Honeyman (very fitting), two clean nice stations free of charge including drinking water. Then we populate the waterfront parking day use area to watch the awesome pink and orange sun set over the lake, listening to the waves howl beyond the dunes and BBQ-ed steaks marinated in red wine, Greek salad on the side. Overnighted at our favourite coffee haunt with internet.

Monday, Day 5, September 8th- Rats! Another day in paradise!

Almost instant breakfast, Eastboy is forcing fruit down us instead of keeping it purely plastic food product. Instant replay set up of yesterday so I HAVE to temp fix the 90. Did the deck epoxy on the sidewalk while waiting for both the upholstery and the mechanic guy to finish with their chores. That 5 minute stuff is wicked to work with, no sooner have you mixed it for a minute it starts to kick. Ready to sand in minutes afterwards, wow. I need two coats just to get the cloth saturated. That done, we looked for java and en route tested the bottle return at Fred Meyers only to discover nobody really wants you to return ANYTHING here: the brown glass one out of service, the others not accepting anything of any form….enough of being a good citizen, donated the pile to the homeless. There is a service call button but Ralph figures I will explode if they don’t come right away and it’s not worth the $1.25. We coffee at the river at the local beanery on a deck with watervista, nice. The outflow wind has shifted inland and the river is starting to cap. We get back to the auto shop to learn that it seems my idle was out and stuck open cuz of a rodent nest below the air filter the size of a flat of cheap beer. The $70 it costs me is well worth the additional fuel I would have burned homebound. The air conditioner is apparently shot with a hole somewhere the size of Arizona and to replace it I could buy a new import car to fit under the hood, complete with AC….open window driving it is, dress in light clothes. The upholstery guy, when he finally showed after an early “lunch emergency” (and the food spillage was a colourful addition to an already odd choice of clothing), had a bout of Alzheimer’s and doubled the cushion foam replacement estimate from Saturday….See ya then, bud.
Being paged from the homeland but I’m not ready to answer the call, instead headed out with Eastdood to the jetty, fuelled up first at 3.51/Gal.. The kiters are having a blast, KiterMark is doing his thing. I wait for the late shift this time! Eastman readies the 5.3 or 5.8 for more juice, yet another marathon for him shaping up today but he also has to leave earlier than yours truly. He ends up having his best sesh yet, down the liners, his first cut backs and staying out of the rinse for the most part. Nice!! We overlap a bit as i take out the 5.7 but i am soon oversailed and still underboarded, getting a good washing machine sesh all the way into shore, losing the rig cuz of no turban strap....another amendment to the quiver. This changes as the wind starts to rip, i downrig to the 4.7 and life becomes blissful for the next two hours. Big waves get bigger...and meaner. Airs, wave rides, spray, fun, sun, repeat. I join in with kiter mark to blast around outside too where things are like moving apartment buildings. When I finally catch that last big wave in and the 4.7 is becoming more than a handful, I know my coast trip sailing is over I pack up with Mark, he has one of his private stock Coors delectables, yuck, and we are off to rinse and prep for travel. Hood River becons and I am not victimized by one of the many eager active troopers on the roadways. The 126 at night is like Squamish Highway after the bars close in Whistler, holy crap. Glad I survived that, the I5 almost put me to sleep in comarison with the needle pinned at limit held by the cruise. I don't dare suck on more than one beer as my lids are getting heavy. I dinner half at a shitty rest stop that has the parkinglot slanted to a point that the plates slide off the table. HR arrival 0135, I figure just over 4 hrs driving time, not bad. ODO at 106065km. I update the log in the secret parking spot, play tunes, have the rest of the red wine (nice choice Eastman), reflect on my awesome time with friends and waves, wonder what all I shall spend money on tomorrow and nod off.